From My "To Pen: Perchance to Scream!" collection...

Passion, After a Fashion

Come live with me and be my love,

The apartment for rent is right above,

And if you will just pay my share

And kindly wash my underwear…



I will promise undying support

And promise never ever to court

Another finer lass than thee…

As long as you take care of me!


(apologies to Marlowe)

Original version: Christopher Marlowe, "Passionate Shepherd to His Love, 1590's"

And yet another from To Pen: Perchance to Scream!

I Love Thee! O Desperate Plea!

"How do I love thee?

Ah...let me count the ways!"

I love thee each date

Of all the calendar days!



I love thee so much

It swells my fair breast.

I love thee more than

The span round your chest!



I love thee more than the

Hairs on thine own head.

Tho they be few,

Still I would thee wed!



I love thee the number

Of zits on thy back,

I love thee despite

Quickies in the sack.



I love thee! O I love thee!

And these words are for you!

Written in desperation!

Won't you please love me too??


Apologies to Elizabeth's Parrot Browning..oops....I mean Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Original version: Browning, Elizabeth Barrett (1806-1861), Songs from the Portuguese, "How Do I Love Thee?"