A Finally "Feel the Love" Potion

I didn’t know if it was day or night…
I felt like kissing everything in sight…

Remember that old song? And Love Potion No. 9? Well several years back, I got a dose of that. It happened after: I had survived cancer and thought it was all the side effects of too much surgery, too much treatment, too much stress. I was a nervous wreck, inside and out. Inside I was a quivering mass of jelly and outside I shook like a leaf. I could not sleep. My hair was falling out in clumps. My skin was dry. The only good thing going on was that weight was falling off like crazy…but I did not know why. And then I learned why.

Graves Disease. And the disease I had never heard of had my thyroid literally off the charts.

Enter radioactive iodine treatment to kill half the thyroid. Enter “Love Potion No. 9”…synthroid for the rest of my ever lovin’ life and every single day of it if I intended to live, much less live a “normal” (whatever that is) life. It has entered my mind more than once, so what if there is some worldwide or national crisis? What if I am stranded on a desert island? What if I actually do win the lottery someday (never mind you have to play to win…and I don’t) and get kidnapped and held for ransom? What if I develop amnesia and don’t know I am sposed to have it?? Duh…rather paranoid thoughts I know. But if you know you have to have something every day or else…well, you are prone sometimes to paranoid thoughts.

And sythroid to me was “Love Potion No. 9”. Cured it all. Sanity restored.

So…I should have known. I should have but I didn’t. I didn’t because I have been dutifully taking my synthroid. I didn’t because it has not been all that long ago since I had seen my endocrinologist…less than six months actually. I didn’t because …well because, shhhh! I am menopausal.

So I figured it was that kind of hot flashes only. I figured that was the insomnia. I figured that was the mega meltdown crying jags (I NEVER cry usually...well not except for some moist eyes during sad books or sad movies). I figured that was why I sometimes had the “shakes”. I figured that was why everything some days seemed bigger and more horrible than it was…the middle aged “mellow me” had gone into hiding…and I figured that was why. I figured that was the …well everything.

And it kept getting worse instead of better. I mean one year of this stuff is enough, right??? Shouldn't it be easing??

Well scuse me…but today I was assured the panic attack earlier in the summer was not such at all and should not have been diagnosed as such. Today the mantra of symptoms suddenly made a whole lot of sense. Suddenly I made sense. Today I was assured that my synthroid dose was not only not working for me, but has been working against me…and probably a whole lot of the problem. In other words? My system had gone topsy turvey and I was NOT crazy. You have to understand that this was a HUGE relief to me. I was seriously starting to wonder about myself. I got a brand new prescription matched to the changes my body has undergone in the last six months.

I feel like I have been given a brand new “Love Potion No. 9”. And from this day forward if/when my moods seem “outta whack” I will be hightailing it back to that endocrinologist who finally got to the bottom of it. I will never again figure since I was in his office “not long ago” that means I am still “ok”.

Bottom line? I got to thinking….how many people out there have symptoms of this and have never had it checked out?? Many probably. So this is my little offering to those out there who need to check it out…please do. I know what it is like…insanity…and there really is a Love Potion No. 9 to cure it.

From My "To Pen: Perchance to Scream!" collection...

Passion, After a Fashion

Come live with me and be my love,

The apartment for rent is right above,

And if you will just pay my share

And kindly wash my underwear…



I will promise undying support

And promise never ever to court

Another finer lass than thee…

As long as you take care of me!


(apologies to Marlowe)

Original version: Christopher Marlowe, "Passionate Shepherd to His Love, 1590's"

And yet another from To Pen: Perchance to Scream!

I Love Thee! O Desperate Plea!

"How do I love thee?

Ah...let me count the ways!"

I love thee each date

Of all the calendar days!



I love thee so much

It swells my fair breast.

I love thee more than

The span round your chest!



I love thee more than the

Hairs on thine own head.

Tho they be few,

Still I would thee wed!



I love thee the number

Of zits on thy back,

I love thee despite

Quickies in the sack.



I love thee! O I love thee!

And these words are for you!

Written in desperation!

Won't you please love me too??


Apologies to Elizabeth's Parrot Browning..oops....I mean Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Original version: Browning, Elizabeth Barrett (1806-1861), Songs from the Portuguese, "How Do I Love Thee?"